


count my sins

by thatapostateboy



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Also the blood isn't graphic but tagging just in case, Blood Magic, Blood and Injury, M/M, Solavellan is background be warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-09
Updated: 2018-01-09
Packaged: 2019-03-02 15:04:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13320690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatapostateboy/pseuds/thatapostateboy
Summary: When all seems lost Moss Lavellan does the unthinkable to save the man he loves.Listening suggestion; Bleeding Out by Imagine Dragons





	count my sins

**Author's Note:**

> This is a rewrite of an old fic I wrote before I even played Inquisition. I found it the other day and had a lot of feelings so I reworked it. You can read the original here http://thatapostateboy.tumblr.com/post/102963805221/i-would-bleed-out-for-you-maybe-a-dai-pairing

Their excursion into the Frostback Basin had proved more dangerous than any of them could have imagined. They knew that everything they faced there would be a threat, but the further they travelled from the camp and the backup of soldiers and scouts, delving deep into the untamed wilderness; the less prepared they felt against the Haakonites they knew were waiting around every corner to attack.

As the group was reeling from the last ambush, hastily pushing forward in search of a place to camp and tend to any injuries they had sustained, they stumbled into the path of a Rift; the Anchor flaring up too late in warning for them to avoid it. Within seconds, four Pride demons came clawing themselves out of the Fade, all snarling and cackling at the party before them.

They all jumped into action, following the Inquisitor’s orders; Cassandra taking front line assault, Cole sneaking around the back, Moss and Solas providing cover with spirit magic, Dorian falling back slightly to throw barriers on whoever needed them; his lightning staff proving no good in attacks against the Pride demons. Brenna herself did what she could to manipulate the Rift to drain the demons’ power or even attempt to close it, but with four powerful demons on this side and her will already drained from the previous encounters she was failing.

Moss wasn’t sure exactly how long the fight went on for, all of them battling and failing to combat the demons, for every one they felled, another came pouring out of the Rift, but he knew it only had to be a matter of a few minutes before it all came to a final head.

Brenna was crying out in exhaustion, fighting against the Rift, green light streaming from her hand, on the verge of blacking out. Moss shot a look at Solas, yelling at him to go to her; to help her. Solas nodded, dodging out of the way of an advancing demon to get to Brenna’s side. His aptitude with rift magic was the only thing that could help her now, but Moss didn’t know if it would be enough.

He spun in search of Dorian, turning at the exact time to see one of the demons strike at the human, slashing right through his stomach. He fell to his knees, crying out with pain, the demon prowling towards him, ready to make the final blow.

Moss let out a cry, throwing a spell at the demon, but with his mana all but drained there was no power behind it. He reached for a lyrium potion on his belt, recalling too late how he had used them all in the last fight. Throwing logic aside, he sprinted towards Dorian, planning to hold the demon off of his lover with the bladed end of his staff if that was what it took.

But the demon was one step ahead of him; with a massive sweep of its claw it grabbed hold of him, hoisting him into the air before tossing him aside. He hit the ground hard, easily feeling some of his ribs shattering from the impact, shock magic wracking through his body.

He turned his head slightly to see the he was led near Dorian who had now collapsed onto his side. With hisses of pain from them both, they reached out their hands for each other, but they were too far to touch.

“Moss,” Dorian wheezed softly, eyes fluttering shut.

“Stay with me,” the elf begged as the demon stared down at them, enjoying watched its prey suffer, “Please, just hang on.”

Desperate to do anything to buy them some more time, Moss painfully dragged himself to his feet, putting himself between Dorian and the demon.

“You will not have him,” he told it, grunting with pain from his ribs. It laughed mockingly at him, as though daring him to attack.

But as he went to raise his staff, his view of the battlefield behind the demon gave him pause. He stood staring in horror as he realised that Cassandra had been knocked out cold; the Seeker laying against a rock, blood dripping from her head. Cole stood in front of her, daggers drawn to protect her from the demons. But the other demons had little interest in the pair, instead turning their focus towards the two elves battling to close the Rift.

Moss looked wildly around, trying to think of a plan, something, anything, to save them all; the fight the demons surrounding his sister and Solas, to help Dorian who bleeding out onto the forest floor…

It became all too clear to him in that moment; what he had to do.

He drew the knife from his belt and held it to his arm.

Rage started to overcome him, a desperate rage, a feeling he had never known before. He had promised himself from the day he had discovered that he had magic that he would never use blood magic, but in that moment; it was his only option. No one would forgive him, he could be locked up and executed as maleficarum, but if that was the price he had to pay then so be it.

He slid the knife across his arm, feeling the hot blood pooling onto his skin. He let out a gasp as he allowed himself to draw power from it, from himself. He knew there was no going back from this, but he couldn’t stop, refused to stop.

He felt power rushing through him in a way he had never experienced, the raw mana fuelling him. The demon raised its claw to strike him, but a wave of force magic sent it flying into the air before it burst into flames at his hand.

He turned, facing the onslaught of demons that had now surrounded Brenna, felling them all with raw magic, his staff forgotten at his feet.

“Moss,” Dorian choked out weakly as he watched his lover succumb to blood magic, “Don’t.”

The elf glanced around at him, healing the human’s injury with a mere wave of his hand. There was a tenderness to the look, but there was a fire behind his eyes that Dorian had never seen before, “They will not have you,” his words were hard, unforgiving, “Not ever.”

As the demons’ forces waned, Brenna was finally able to close the Rift, sealing it shut before collapsing from exhaustion into Solas’ waiting arms. The battlefield felt silent as Moss went to Dorian’s side, falling to his knees in front of him as he relinquished the power back to the Void, blood dripping down his arm.

“Why?” Dorian asked him, the pair of them clutching to each other, desperate for contact, “You said you would never…”

“I’m sorry, emma lath,” Moss whispered, holding tightly to Dorian, “I couldn’t lose you. I can’t ever lose you.”

The elf was shaking, whether from exhaustion or fear, Dorian did not know but he expected it was a mixture of both. He only ever saw him like this when he woke from a nightmare, and he was the only one that could calm him. Dorian wrapped his arms around him, holding him close, shushing him softly.

“It’s okay,” he told him, “I’m safe now, and so are you. It’s okay.” He began to heal the cut, but Moss shook his head. Dorian tore off a bit of his own robe and wrapped it around the cut on his lover’s arm. If nothing else, they had to keep it hidden.

After a few moments, they helped each other to their feet, glancing across to see Solas healing up Cassandra. The party gathered themselves together slowly, trudging through more wilderness until they met up with a group of scouts who had already set up a camp high up in the trees. They were all silent through dinner, exhaustion and resounding fear still lying heavy over the group. As the sun went down, they all began to drift to their own tents. Brenna paused for a moment to draw her brother into a hug, holding him tight.

“Thank you, for what you did today,” she murmured, “You saved us all.”

“Ar suledin nadas,” he whispered back.

He broke the hug and went to his own tent, the tears coming quickly as he was alone for the first time. He sobbed quietly into his pillow, body physically wracking as he fought against the urge to scream and cry out. He didn’t realise that Dorian had entered the tent until he felt a warm familiar hand touch his arm. He jumped, staring at him with wide tearful eyes, flinching under his touch.

“It’s just me,” Dorian said, lying down beside him, “Whatever you need, I am here.”

Moss was quiet for some time, occasional hiccups of tears interrupting the silence between them, but eventually he whispered the words, “I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?”

“I’m so so sorry,” more tears filled his eyes, “I promised myself- I promised _you_ that I would never use blood magic. You’ve seen the worst of what blood magic can do. What people can use it for… How can you even stand to be near me?”

“Because I know you Moss Lavellan. I know you would never have used it if there was no other choice. If Brenna had fallen, the fate of the world would have gone with her. You weren’t seeking power to use over others, to bend people to your own will, you _saved_ people,” Dorian said, then placed a hand on Moss’ cheek, running a thumb across his cheek, “You are a good man Moss. A good man who gives too much.”

Moss slid into his embrace, resting his head on Dorian’s chest, “I thought about losing you, and I just couldn’t. I was willing to do anything, pay any cost necessary in order to protect you. You are the most important thing to me in this whole damned world, and that scares me more than anything Corypheus could throw at us. I… I love you.” He had never said those words before. He referred often to Dorian as ‘my heart’ or ‘my love’ in the Elven tongue, but never had he told him that he loved him.

“Amatus,” Dorian crooned under his breath, testing the word in his mouth. He had been aching to say it for so long, but never daring to take the plunge, “I love you too.”

 

 

_Elven translation:_   
_Ar suledin nadas- (roughly) Now I must endure_

**Author's Note:**

> I posted this at 4 in the morning because I was so happy that I'd finished it so I never got around to proofreading, so please be kind!


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